Parenting in the New Millennium

Messaging with my 10-year-old:
him: brb
(long pause)
me: what were you doing?
him: when I said be right back
me: yeah
him: I was going to the bathroom
me: lol
me: did you wash your hands?
him: no
(long pause)
him: k
me: now where did you go?
him: 2 wash my hands like you said
me: oh, did you make your bed?
me: brush your teeth?
him: NO
him: NO
(long pause)

Messaging with my 12-year-old, or A Lesson on Daylight Savings Time

him: and we didnt loose an hour we gained an hour of sleep
me: no we lost one
him: we moved them up
me: we moved the clock ahead one hour...an hour completely disappeared
me: so we lost it
me: gone
me: poof
him: but?
me: but??
him: id think it makes since
me: huh
him: you loose an hour when you move it in the spring
me: yep exactly
him: you loose an hour of sleep.
him: no in the fall
him: because you move em' back
me: fall you gain an hour...you move it back so you sleep an extra hour
him: no!
him: spring you gain
me: no you lose...it is gone gone gone
him: well decide this later
me: they take it from you
(he signs off)
(he signs on)
him: oh yeah....bye